Life's little ironies are a source of fascination to me. Ironies will twist and turn and often have a surprise ending. Ironies often cause me to contemplate their cause and also the end result. Usually however, in the end they make sense and possess a degree of fairness.
Double standards, now they make me angry, frustrated and confused. Double standards openly speak of an accepted injustice. A double standard tells me there are two views but one is more important or more dominant over the other. The
reason one is more is important is vague, unvalidated or even nonexistent. It just is and that's that. End of discussion.
I have siblings I haven't spoken of yet. One of each, both younger. We stay in touch, talk here and there. My brother and family even paid us a visit back in the spring.
I am a different creature from my siblings. I left my childhood home, experienced different cultures, spread my wings and lived for myself. My siblings have lived in the same town all their lives and are quite content to do so. They accept me as I do them, I know they love me, but I am certain I supply the means for dinner conversation and family get togethers. That's OK, it's their way of getting out there and living a little.
My sister has divorced and remarried. To a man who is Filipino. He is welcome in my parents home for Thanksgiving dinner, the Fourth of July cookout and every event in between.
This tells me there are certain rules applied to the racism practiced in my childhood home. But I am not sure I follow them. I've been told that some people look past certain shades of skin color. You know, just hold out and only hate black. I'm told it stems from an unresolved, generations old relationship between white slave owners and black slaves. That certain people can't move past that and are unable to accept a black and white couple.
Which is to say had I met and married a black man born and raised in say, Africa or Jamaica, all would be happy and we too, would be invited to Thanksgiving dinner? I think not.
What is this double standard? Where does it come from? How is it rationalized? Rhetorical questions, but if you have a theory or even the answer, I am listening.
My parents have a religion they practice. It's called the NBA. They've practiced it for years. I have nothing against the NBA, mind you. I watch it occasionally, choose not to worship it but have no problem with those that do. Following their religion of NBA, they glorify and worship the players. Black and white alike. They follow their personal lives, talk about them as if they personally know them and even get a little possessive about them by inserting a "my" in front of their names. Given these players are elevated to a god like status, I have to ask this question: If one of their children were to bring home one of these idols, what would the reaction be then?
Would a
celebrity black man negate the racial barrier and condone an interracial relationship? Would money and status make one a little less black in their eyes? Would that change their life long views as practicing racists? Or is it OK to worship black men within their role as athlete, but don't come home with my daughter or our relationship will require some serious redefining.
I clearly call these double standards. That is black and white to me. How can there be a rationalization between one daughter marrying a Filipino and another marrying a black man? In these situations that defy logic, are we clinging to a belief while not understanding why? When we do that, does that mean we don't know what we stand for. Do we stand for anything at all?
