my husband talks white

You heard me.

My husband, a black man, talks white.

And gets a lot of grief for it.

From black people....and white people.

His white talkin' got him held for hours in Mississippi, originally for driving while black by a DOT Scale House employee. Then once the DOT employee engaged in conversation with him, the fact he didn't "talk right" became the ammunition for an afternoon of harassment.

He constantly hears comments about his voice. So much that he has taken to ignoring the statements and not answering the questions.

• You sound "different".


• You don't sound like you're from around here.


• Why do you talk like that?


• You talk white.


• Where did you learn to talk like that?


• Who are you trying to impress?

No matter who is uttering these words, they all revolve around the fact that this black man sounds different. Different from what? From others who share his skin color?

What is this difference? Is it that one speaks "standardized" English (whatever that is) or as some would say, proper English? Or is it more of a vocal intonation? Or both?

But the big question is why? Why does this draw so much attention to individuals who sound a certain way?

First Lady Michelle Obama has drawn some attention recently because of some statements she made while visiting a school. Seems she made mention of the fact that she was criticized while growing up in Chicago for "sounding white". This has drawn some further criticism from the likes of Tammy Bruce.

President Obama was accused of "talking white" by Ralph Nader during the Presidential primaries. If you Google "talking white" you will pull up endless pages of articles and blogs where people talk about "talking white".

So once again I ask why? Why is this such an issue to a disturbing number of both white and black people?

I think I understand. It seems to be a common denominator in virtually all things racial. The one thread that ties it all together. It's been the subject of countless conversations I've had with my husband. It was mentioned in a comment by someone in a recent post.

It's an evil, contagious four letter word that seems to motivate us to behave badly. We all experience it at various times. We all seem to deal with it differently and we all vary on how much control we allow it to have over our lives, and for that matter what areas of our lives we allow it into. Have you guessed it yet?

It's F.E.A.R.

to protect and serve

The policeman's motto.

They are not only there to catch those nasty bad guys. Their job is to protect us and serve us.

Wow. I guess that doesn't pertain to one certain cop in Dallas. OK, and lot's of others, but I'm just talkin about him right now.

If you haven't heard, Ryan Moats, a running back for the Houston Texans was on his way with his wife and other family members to say their last goodbye to his mother in law, dying from breast cancer at a hospital in Plano, Texas near Dallas. In their haste to make it there on time, Ryan ran a red light and didn't come to a complete stop at a couple of stop signs.

Seems that got Officer Robert Powell's skirt in a knot as he pulled Moats over in the parking lot of the hospital and preceded to throw around all that policeman authority. Clearly Moats was driving fast to get to hospital........but for what? Was he headed there for the great cafeteria food?

OK, enough of my sarcasm, here is the transcript:

Excerpts from Officer Robert Powell and Ryan Moats:
Moats: You really want to go through this right now? My mother-in-law is dying. Right now! ... I got seconds before she's dying, man!
Powell: If my mom was dying I'd probably be a little upset too, but when I saw flashing red and blues, I would stop.
Moats: Did I not stop at the red light?
Powell: You stopped, then you drove through the red light.
Moats: I stopped, I checked the traffic, I waved the traffic off, then I turned.
Powell: This is not an emergency vehicle. You do not have the right to control the traffic.
Moats: OK. All right ... just go ahead and check my insurance so I can go ahead and go. If you're gonna give me a ticket, give me a ticket. I really don't care, just ...
Powell: Your attitude says that you need one.
Moats: I don't have an attitude. All I'm asking you is just to hurry up. Cause you're standing here talking to me...
Powell: Shut your mouth and listen.
Moats: Shut my mouth? Is that how you talk to me, too?
Powell: Shut your mouth and listen. If you want to keep this going, I'll just put you in handcuffs, and I'll take you to jail for running a red light.
Moats: OK. All right.
Powell: I can do that.
Moats: OK.
Powell: State law says I can.
Moats: Yes, sir. Go ahead.
Powell: If you don't settle down that's what I'm gonna do.
Moats: Yes, sir.
Powell: All right, If you don't settle down, your truck's illegally parked – I'll tow that as well.
Moats: Yes, sir.
Powell: OK, I can screw you over. I'd rather not do that. Your attitude will dictate everything that happens, and right now, your attitude sucks.
Moats: Yes, sir.
Powell: OK, I turned my red and blues on as you were going over the bridge ...
Moats: You think I'm gonna stop when my wife's mother is dying?
Powell: You are required to stop. What you're doing does not matter. Red and blues, you have to stop. I can charge you with fleeing right now.
Moats: Yes, sir. ...
Powell: I can take you to jail. I can tow your truck. I can charge you with fleeing.
Moats: Yes, sir, you can. I understand.
Powell: I can make your night very difficult.
Moats: I hope you'll be a great person and not do that.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I can't find where Moats was threatening enough or even disrespectful enough to cause Powell to pull his weapon......but he did. Moats didn't even play the "Don't you know who I am?" card. And do you know what Moats got out of this? He didn't go to jail and he didn't get to tell his mother in law goodbye. She died before he could enter the hospital.

Robert Power claimed he was just doing his job. Apology not necessary. Now, of course it came later, you know, after the sh*t hit the fan and all.

To his credit, Dallas Police Chief, Davis Kunkle, was appropriately indignant and disgusted with his officer. I guess after the plethora of police related shootings and the like in the first three months of this year, police chiefs are pretty much backed in a corner right now.

To read this story and watch the video of this routine traffic stop in the Dallas Morning News, click here.

excellent reading

Ernest over at No More Race posted an article written by Andrew Manis, a history professor at Macon State College, It's an excellent article written from a white man's perspective on race in America. It's a must read for all races.
Andrew M. Manis: When Are WE Going to Get Over It?

For much of the last forty years, ever since America "fixed" its race problem in the Civil Rights and Voting Rights Acts, we white people have been impatient with African Americans who continued to blame race for their difficulties. Often we have heard whites ask, "When are African Americans finally going to get over it? Now I want to ask: "When are we White Americans going to get over our ridiculous obsession with skin color?Recent reports that "Election Spurs Hundreds' of Race Threats, Crimes" should frighten and infuriate every one of us. Having grown up in "Bombingham," Alabama in the 1960s, I remember overhearing an avalanche of comments about what many white classmates and their parents wanted to do to John and Bobby Kennedy and Martin Luther King. Eventually, as you may recall, in all three cases, someone decided to do more than "talk the talk."

Since our recent presidential election, to our eternal shame we are once again hearing the same reprehensible talk I remember from my boyhood.

We white people have controlled political life in the disunited colonies and United States for some 400 years on this continent. Conservative whites have been in power 28 of the last 40 years. Even during the eight Clinton years, conservatives in Congress blocked most of his agenda and pulled him to the right. Yet never in that period did I read any headlines suggesting that anyone was calling for the assassinations of presidents Nixon, Ford, Reagan, or either of the Bushes. Criticize them, yes. Call for their impeachment, perhaps. But there were no bounties on their heads. And even when someone did try to kill Ronald Reagan, the perpetrator was non-political mental case who wanted merely to impress Jody Foster.

But elect a liberal who happens to be Black and we're back in the sixties again. At this point in our history, we should be proud that we've proven what conservatives are always saying -- that in America anything is possible, EVEN electing a black man as president. But instead we now hear that school children from Maine to California are talking about wanting to "assassinate Obama."

Fighting the urge to throw up, I can only ask, "How long?" How long before we white people realize we can't make our nation, much less the whole world, look like us? How long until we white people can - once and for all - get over this hell-conceived preoccupation with skin color? How long until we white people get over the demonic conviction that white skin makes us superior? How long before we white people get over our bitter resentments about being demoted to the status of equality with non-whites?

How long before we get over our expectations that we should be at the head of the line merely because of our white skin? How long until we white people end our silence and call out our peers when they share the latest racist jokes in the privacy of our white-only conversations?

I believe in free speech, but how long until we white people start making racist loudmouths as socially uncomfortable as we do flag burners? How long until we white people will stop insisting that blacks exercise personal responsibility, build strong families, educate themselves enough to edit the Harvard Law Review, and work hard enough to become President of the United States, only to threaten to assassinate them when they do?

How long before we starting "living out the true meaning" of our creeds, both civil and religious, that all men and women are created equal and that "red and yellow, black and white" all are precious in God's sight?

Until this past November 4, I didn't believe this country would ever elect an African American to the presidency. I still don't believe I'll live long enough to see us white people get over our racism problem.

But here's my three-point plan: First, everyday that Barack Obama lives in the White House that Black Slaves Built, I'm going to pray that God (and the Secret Service) will protect him and his family from us white people.Second, I'm going to report to the FBI any white person I overhear saying, in seriousness or in jest, anything of a threatening nature about President Obama. Third, I'm going to pray to live long enough to see America surprise the world once again, when white people can "in spirit and in truth" sing of our damnable color prejudice, "We HAVE overcome."
**************************************

It takes a Village to protect our President!!!

To read more about Andrew Manis, click here and again here.

racial killing in Louisianna

Bernard Monroe, a retired 73 year old cancer survivor hosted a barbecue at his Homer, LA home on February 20th.

Amid the commotion of family and friends enjoying their day, two police officers pulled up looking for Monroe's son, Shawn, who had previous run in's with the law, however nothing current, and no outstanding warrants. Shawn, it appears, panicked and ran into the house. One of the officers followed, but reappeared exiting the home via the front door.

Bernard, it being his home and all, began walking up to the officer who was still standing at the front door. The officer then opened fire on the 73 year old, hitting him several times, killing him. While witnesses pleaded with the officers to call an ambulance, the officer radioed "officer in distress" and never summoned help the Mr. Monroe.

Then, in front of friends and family attending the cook out, the officers proceeded to take a gun that belonged to Bernard off the front porch where he kept it in plain site for protection, and place it in the dead man's hand. When questioned, the officer told the witness to "shut the hell up".

Homer police chief, Russell Mills, had this to say:

"If I see three or four young black men walking down the street, I have to stop them and check their names," said Mills, who is white. "I want them to be afraid every time they see the police that they might get arrested."We're not out there trying to abuse and harass people -- we're trying to protect the law-abiding citizens locked behind their doors in fear."

This has prompted both a state and federal investigation according to the LA Times.

Is it me, or are these stories becoming more common? Even though I watch the news without fail everyday and visit several major news sites as well, I never discover these stories until a while after they occur. This incident occurred on February 20th, and the LA Times reported on March 17th.

Now for my big question. Why don't we ever read about these issues, only racially reversed? I can't remember the last time I read about Hispanic or African American cops rolling up in a white neighborhood and shooting an unarmed caucasian person.

So off I go, looking for such a story. If you all don't hear from me for a while, you know what I'll be doing. If anyone else runs across a racially reversed story, please let me know. Otherwise I might be MIA for quite some time.

ebony & ivory on eHarmony

Love them or hate them, those eHarmony commercials always seem to be on TV.

Last night I saw one of their warm fuzzy ads featuring a interracial couple; she is black and he is white.

Either this is a new venture for eHarmony or I don't watch enough TV to have caught this before now. I went on their website that features success stories and TV couples, but was unable to find this couple to share with you.

Seems to me this is a step in the right direction towards the social acceptance of interracial couples. Clearly there must be a demand if eHarmony is including it in their match making service. After all they are first a business supplying their clients with what they demand.

When single people go to dating sites are they now saying "I don't care about skin color, hook me up the right person for me."?

Is this a step in the right direction towards desegregating dating sites that previously designated that one would want to date a skin color instead of a person?

Is this a sign that change is indeed possible?

a foregone conclusion

When recently reading a post on another blog about a biracial child's introduction to racism at the hand of another child, it brought to mind, again, a situation I recently experienced.

My oldest daughter came home from school in a panic because her sister was not on the bus with her. Her panic became my panic. We jumped in the car and were driving to school when I received a phone call from the principal. She indicated my youngest was involved in a "situation". Once she confirmed she was not hurt, I started a slow burn, knowing this must surely be racial in nature. This thought became a certainty when Mrs. Principal revealed she and another girl had an altercation and she would fill me in with all the details when I arrived. In the short drive to the school I drew a foregone conclusion she had been a victim of racism.

Even though I kept my thoughts to myself, I still felt something close to shame when Mrs. Principal informed me the altercation was physical, a result of a silly dispute, and my daughter was at fault. My shame wasn't a result of my daughter striking someone... more on that later. No, my shame was because I immediately jumped on racism without knowing any facts. Lined this situation up in my sights, took aim and pulled the trigger before I knew what I was shooting at.

Have I become so exposed to first hand, second hand and left handed racism that I immediately embrace the thought of racism without receiving the facts first? I jumped to a conclusion with no factual reason to do so.

I spent some time thinking about this and have come up empty as to why I reacted. I hate drama, blowing something out of proportion and not to beat this to death, jumping to conclusions. Why did I jump on this so fast?

Has writing this blog caused me to become jaded to the point I look for racism?

I surely hope not. That would indicate far too many negative factors have crept into my life...and that I am content to leave it that way. Looking for it says maybe I don't want to move beyond racial issues, and I have wrapped myself in the belief "there will always be racism" so let's slap the racism label on as many situations as I can find. This would now make me part of the problem that prevents us from moving on. Perhaps I'm just seeking out the next post...

In my heart I know I have not become this person, but sometimes we have to be hard on our selves and explore where our thoughts take us, whether we reacted to those thoughts or not. One misplaced comment from me would have resulted in my becoming a little more like the person I described above, not to mention the seed that would have been planted in both my daughter's minds. The next situation would have resulted in my becoming even more like this person, and so on each step easier that the last.

I am thankful I kept my thoughts to myself and didn't include anyone else in my drama. This was best played out within my own mind, the lesson to take the experience, be honest with myself and live my life a little wiser from it. Life situations are never just black and white. Reacting without knowing the whole story can lead to some unnecessary chaos to the point you might be fighting a useless battle that is based on a lie created within your own mind.